Deals & People October 2, 2008

Thain To Head Wealth Management at Bank of America

Bank of America announced that John Thain, chairman and CEO of Merrill Lynch, will become president of Global Banking, Securities, and Wealth Management in the merged company.
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Thain’s responsibilities will include what is now within Global Corporate and Investment Banking (GCIB) and most of what is now within Global Wealth and Investment Management (GWIM) at Bank of America, which will be merged with similar functions at Merrill Lynch, according to a release from Bank of America.

“This is an opportunity to create what will be the leading financial institution in the world,’ said Thain, in the release. “Combining these two companies will create great value for our shareholders and clients around the world.’

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Brian Moynihan will continue as president of Global Corporate and Investment Banking at Bank of America until the merger. After that, Bank of America announced he will become president of Private Equity and Global Operations, reporting to Chairman and CEO Ken Lewis. The Bank of America private equity business, LaSalle Global Trust Services, Enterprise Technology and Delivery, Legal, and Supply Chain Management will begin reporting to Moynihan immediately.

“Our company will look quite different after the merger,” said Lewis, in the release. “I have asked Brian to lead an effort that will redefine our business model, taking into account the strengths of both predecessor companies and our extensive opportunities around the world. Brian’s background in corporate development, wealth management, and corporate and investment banking make him the ideal person to lead this initiative. As part of this effort, he is to ensure that we have optimized our infrastructure investments to drive growth in the merged company.”

The release also said that Moynihan will lead the transition for Bank of America, working with Tom Sanzone, Merrill Lynch executive vice president and chief administrative officer. The two will work together to “ensure that the companies come together in an optimum way to take advantage of future business opportunities,’ Bank of America stated.


Diversions October 1, 2008

“Can you reset the Internet for me?″

Ever been asked a stupid question?
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Besides that one, that is.
Well, a survey developed by Robert Half Technology asked more than 1,400 CIOs from companies across the United States with 100 or more employees, “What is the strangest or most unusual request you or a member of your help desk or technical support team has ever received?”
Their responses included:
  • “Why isn’t my wireless mouse connected to the computer?”
  • “My laptop was run over by a truck. What should I do?’
  • “Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?’
  • “How do I read my e-mail?’
  • “My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the “any’ key?’
  • “Can you reset the Internet for me?’
  • “There are animal crackers in my CD-ROM drive.’
  • “Can you build me a robot?’
Other requests go beyond mere technical difficulties:
  • “How can I block e-mail from my manager?’
  • “Can I open the bank safe using my computer?’ (hoping this one is from a bank employee)
  • “Can you install cable TV on my PC?’
  • “Can you order joysticks so that we can play video games?’
  • “I’d like to stop receiving e-mail on Fridays.’
And then, there are the requests for help that are just begging for a clever response:
  • “Can you come and install my car stereo?”
  • “Where can I locate dry ice?’
  • “I’d like wireless computer access in my motor home.’
  • “Can you fix my typewriter?’
  • “How long does it take to bake a potato in a microwave?’
  • “My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?’
  • “Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?’
  • “The elevator is broken.’
  • “How do I wire a robotic turkey?’
  • “Where can I get software to track UFOs?’
  • “Can you repair my motorbike?’
Of course, as anyone who has ever called a technical support help line knows, the answer is – always – “reboot.’

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