People-Savvy
According to the Carnegie Institute, only 15% of your success is due to your technical skills. That’s your ability to perform your day-to-day tasks. The other 85% of your success as a financial adviser is due to your people skills—your ability to connect, communicate, influence and even resolve conflict with people who are different from you. And that’s where the challenge really comes in. There’s a study showing that people, when interacting with others, claim to have a bad or uncomfortable experience over 60% of the time.
Let’s say you get talking to the person next to you on an airplane, and you’re not trying to judge them in any way, but there’s something about them that feels a little off, kind of rubs you the wrong way. Have you ever felt that way? Or maybe you met someone for the first time, and you walked away feeling like, I don’t know what it is about this person.
The study I mentioned shows that it’s natural. But the finding also means that, over 60% of the time, plan sponsors, participants, and other people too, will feel that way when interacting with you. And we can’t afford to lose clients because we don’t know how best to interact with them.
As a human behavior expert, I asked why this discomfort happens so often. What I realized through my research is that people operate out of the golden rule when it comes to our interactions: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The golden rule is great for teaching foundational respect; however, it does not apply when we communicate, because communication is not one size fits all. Rather, I suggest you use, “the honor rule”: Treat others as they prefer to be treated.
We can do this by learning to speak the languages of the four personality styles in a scientifically proven model of human behavior called DISC. In this acronym, the D stands for Driver, I for I for Inspirer, S for Supporter, and C for Calculator. By identifying someone’s personality, preferences and peeves, you can leverage that knowledge to build stronger relationships, get better outcomes and understand how the person prefers to make decisions.
By identifying someone’s personality, preferences and peeves, you can leverage that knowledge to build stronger relationships …
How do you know whether you’re talking to a Driver or to another personality style? Listen to how the person communicates. Drivers and Inspirers are fast paced, while Supporters and Calculators are slower paced. This is called our “motor style.” The best way to build instant rapport with someone is to match their motor.
Let’s take a deeper dive into how to identify and adapt to each personality style.
Drivers are direct, to the point, and tell it like it is. They interact this way because they are wired to get fast results. When you’re with a Driver, speed your pacing up to match theirs, get to your point in 10 seconds or less, and give them the Reader’s Digest version of your story. Always show Drivers respect, and they will respect you in return.
Inspirers are interactive, optimistic and animated. They relate this way because they’re wired to want their experience with people to be fun. When you’re with an Inspirer, speed your pacing up to match their motor, provide a less formal environment, learn to tell a joke to make them laugh, and keep things positive. Inspirers loathe negativity and won’t like you if you’re constantly complaining.
Supporters are sweet, calm, steady and always looking for the best in others. They’re wired to build peaceful relationships and environments. When you’re with a Supporter, slow down your pacing to match theirs, be patient and allow them to finish their sentence without interruption, ask about their personal life more, and be gentle. Above all, do not gossip around them! If you do, they’ll wonder what you say about them when they’re not around and will stop trusting you.
Calculators are smart, analytical and tend to speak in facts. They’re wired to have quality conversations. When you’re with a Calculator, slow your pacing to match the person’s motor, allowing time for them to ask more questions, and make sure you have your facts straight, otherwise, you will lose their attention.
I believe God didn’t make a mistake when he wired any of us. We’ll benefit from knowing how we are wired to operate and from understanding our own blind spots.
Betsy Allen-Manning is a leadership speaker, corporate culture expert and founder of Corporate Culture Training Solutions in Dallas. She specializes in improving workplace culture and equipping “ready-now leaders” to attract, engage, motivate and retain talent in a hyper-competitive marketplace.